Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween: Little AG Cowgirl

Hello? Mrs. McBrainless! You got that Bss Aackwards!

Does anyone else believe, as I do, that Sarah Palin dies her hair dark? She's got to be a natural blonde, right? What else would explain this remark...

Palin told WMAL-AM that her criticism of Obama's associations, like those with 1960s radical Bill Ayers and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, should not be considered negative attacks. Rather, for reporters or columnists to suggest that it is going negative may constitute an attack that threatens a candidate's free speech rights under the Constitution, Palin said.

Now I know, as we all do here, that trying to turn the truth on its head in the readings of history, The Constitution, The Bible, one of the wingnuts' necessary tactics; but it is usually done by conservative intellectuals that know they are misrepresenting them to the public. They have to use this tactic, otherwise logic would preclude them from existing. So they have to mindfuck the sheep.

But Sarah "so easy to look at, so hard to define" Palin is not even intellectually curious, much less an intellectual. She's one of the narrow minded sheep. She actually believes the stupid tripe she spits. God forbid a mindless sheep like her ever becoming President, they would send the country into ruin! Oh wait, there is Bush...and we are...uh, strike that last comment. Anyway, she's got to be a natural blonde.

If hell freezes over and McCain wins, the first thing he would do is get a new VP. I can just hear McCain now - "give me back those close, and the keys to my fucking house" "GET OUT!"

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Only a Sliver of History

There are certain times in our days of yore that are so unique, so insane, that a specific idea or theory otherwise proven ludicrous, finds it's only sliver of usefulness in history. We can see this before our very eyes today in the Republican-owned financial crises, and in the fuck-the-world Anarchists' hooliganism. They buy in hook, line and sinker, and believe this is how the world should work ALL THE TIME. So we hear shit from conservatives like "helping the poor only hurts the poor", "less taxes brings more revenue into the government" and my personal favorite, "war is peace!" It's quite unbelievable, intellectually, but conservatives base their entire agenda on such nonsense.

Take helping the poor, for instance. How many times have you heard a conservative say "if you don't give the poor welfare they will work or die!" No. Actually, it's some will find work and some will die. More will turn to crime to survive. Don't get me wrong, there are instances were cutting off a healthy, lazy-ass individual motivates one to produce. But cutting everyone off just kills people for spite. Jesus understood this. He was the original couch surfer for Christ's sake. And lets not forget about the working poor. They deserve the most help but are just as lazy as the healthy welfare cons in the conservatives' eyes. Throw the baby out with the bathwater they say. So, in their reality, helping that one stupid fuck get off his lazy ass and work worked once, so it must work all the time. Besides, the slugs don't pay taxes anyway.

Have you heard the one about how constant tax cuts produce windfall government profits? It's funny as fucking hell. Just because there were times in our history that massive tax cuts to the rich spurred growth, for a short period, scamper-capitalist conservatives use the fact to declare it the utopia of economic policy. I like to watch the facial expressions of those conservatives confronted with the simple question- "so no taxes at all makes us all rich?" They don't like simple questions. They don't like it even more when you call them chickenhawks.

You see, war is their baby. It doesn't matter that those who train for, and fight the wars conservatives crave, say that war should be the last option on the table. Conservatives will reach for it first and foremost just by reflex. Fact is, in their eyes, war projects our strength and shows our enemies who's boss, making them too scared to attack us, therefore, we win. Only problem is, that shit only works on the playground in elementary school. We have served our country well by being a militarily power, but as all real players know, even if you win the war, you lose the battle.

These conservative shenanigans will continue, it's a simple fact that plagues their character. However, I believe, that all forms of Patriots, from the rich to the poor, from the intellectual to the working class, posses simple logic. But simple logic escapes most conservatives, from the rich to the poor, from the intellectual to the working class. So, we Patriots must always be vigilant, for the simple fact that ignorance is consistent. Conservatives will always believe their narrow agenda is the gospel, when in fact, their highly prized theory's worked for only a sliver of history.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Fox News Reprots: Obama Wins Satan's Endorsement

This could be it for the Obama campaign. No one has ever won the endorsement of Satan and went on to win the presidency. Damn. And we were so close.

Satan's endorsement comes to light thanks to some extraordinarily righteous investigative reporting from James Pinkerton over at Fox News. Seriously, you should read the whole thing, even the comments, just for the helluvit.

But here are some highlights...

Could Lucifer play a role in this presidential election? It may sound crazy, but one of the candidates in this race has publicly praised, even emulated, a writer-activist who himself paid tribute to Lucifer.

That was just the first sentence. It gets better...

OK, you might be asking, where is this Lucifer stuff coming from? It comes from a man named Saul Alinsky, who devoted his life to left-wing agitation in Chicago.

Or as Quite Riot might put it...Come on baby we're allllll evil now!!!

And the connection between Alinsky and Barack Obama—and Alinsky and the left in general—is real enough....

...Alinsky, who died in 1972, was a sort of godfather to all the activist groups that emerged in the 60s and 70s, the most famous (or, if you prefer, notorious) of which today is ACORN.

And, and...

[Obama] recently said his years as an organizer gave him the best education of his life.

No, no wait...that's not all...

Hillary Rodham was such a fan of Alinsky that she traveled to Chicago, four times, to interview him for an adulatory school thesis she was writing.

Got fear?

OK, so the Alinsky-Obama connection is real. But the full truth about Alinsky, and whom he admired, is so wacky, or so horrible, that even the media have been reluctant to get into the story.

Are you listening, Palin? It's up to you now...

If McCain won’t bring up Wright, I guess it’s no surprise that he’s not bringing up Alinsky-Lucifer, assuming his campaign even knows about it.

What will they think of next?

Taxation...Without What?

Taxation? That's the anchor Retardicans are holding on to? Yep. Because they say that is what our founding fathers hated the most! Taxation! PERIOD! And wingnuts are here to REPRESENT! HALLELUJAH!!!

Look, I know, you freaks just don't want to be paying any taxes...I get it. But the rest of us, you know, the majority of fucking Americans, just want to be represented by competent smart folks. Because, lets face it, dumb-asses don't have that good of a track record when they are put in the White House. Seriously, they fuck up every time. Just check their stats.

Now, if every time the word "tax" is spoken, and you are immediately sent into some epileptic trance like state walloping around on the floor. You might be a wingnut. If you understand that we live in a society, and not on Gilligan's Island, then you don't mind paying long as they're representn' n'shit.

So, the truth is, I don't really know were I'm going with this post. I guess I just want to know were the fuck all the taxation WITHOUT representation is? Is it under Bush's desk? Do the rich have it locked away in some volt? Hello? Where is Gerardo Rivera when you need him?

How about we just stop all federal tax revenues going to the states of Alaska and Arizona? They don't need the money anyway...they've got bootstraps. Don't laugh, bootstrap soup makes a fine meal!

Look, I'm just saying, if Alaska and Arizona do not want to be represented anymore, lets cut off their funding...

Thursday, October 23, 2008

When Conservative Philosophies Fail

And lets face it, conservative philosophies always fail in the end. Not just one or two of the worst of them, all of them. Every. single. time. they are tried. It's one of those inevitable facts that plagues our history. But why? Why do conservatives, time and again, fight furiously to perpetrate old cockamamie conservative schemes on our society? History is very clear, yet their belief in these debunked philosophies only grows stronger in the face of overwhelming facts to the contrary!(Remember that Seinfeld episode were George says "it's not a lie...if you believe it!")

The answer, quite clearly, is that they are socially retarded. And proud of it, to boot.

Lets start with the founding of this great nation. With the Seven Years' War over, leaving the British strapped for cash, the conservatives of the day, who called themselves Tories, figured that corporate welfare would be the fix to their financial woes. That's right, supply side economics. One of their companies, The East India Company, who managed the tea trade on behalf of the British government, was going bankrupted. So they stopped the export tax on East India Company and started charging a modest import tax on American tea merchants. Then flooded the American market with cheap British tea. The conventional wisdom was, this will work because Americans love cheap shit! How'd that work out for ya, Tories?

Next lets take a look at The Roaring 20's. The Great War was over, and America did not want much to do with the rest of the world. Mass production and mass consumption was the way of the day. Production processes were taken out of the hands of skilled craftsmen and put into the hands of managers and machine makers. Many unskilled workers made it into the middle class, many skilled workers fell back into the middle class, and the times were great for the filthy rich. The conservatives of the day, who called themselves fundamentalists, thought supply side economics and tax cuts for the rich was the way to go. They believed the people's government should not be regulating the economy. And left the people to fend for themselves, separating citizens from their own government. Even leaving many to suffer after The Great Mississippi River flood of 1927(until public outcry got too loud, of course). How'd that work out for ya, fundamentalists?

Now we come to the present. Sitting smack-dab in the middle of The Great Terror Wars, with supply-side economic policies digging another ditch to bury conservatives in...again. Today's conservatives call themselves Neo-Conservatives. That's right, all the conservatives of the past failed because they were not conservative enough! This time they'll be ultra-super-duper conservative and finally get it right! Yet here we are, once again; no end in sight to the Iraq War, scattered Hurricane Katrina victims, and a economic system on the verge of collapse(just to name a few). One's that working out for ya, neo-cons?

The answer is no, it is not working out well at all for conservatives. I know, what a shocker, uh? But if you think conservatives will see the light, then I've got a bridge to sell you in Alaska. So, knowing this, what do you suppose the conservatives will call themselves next? Nuclearoid-Cons? Paleontolo-Con? Leave your predictions in comments...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fast Pitch Softball

When is someone going to finally ask..."Who isn't smarter than a Vice President?"

Preconditions? I mean, we're talking about fucking preconditions here! Wingnut country crock! Bitch should be butta!

My 13 year old heard the question and answered lickadee split..."disarm your nukes first..."

Caribou Barbie answered like this...


Open your eyes fellow Patriots! And witness true unadulterated childishness...wearing grown man boots, getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar...

Motherfucking double BONUS!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Consolidation of Wealth: Phase Two of Operation Fascist America

Consolidation of wealth must be a good thing, right? I mean, with all the talk of wealth distribution being the biggest evil since unsliced bread and all. Please. If you believe that, then your economic ignorance is only eclipsed by your racism. (racism, hate and fear: phase one of Operation Fascist America).

Remember the first three words of our Constitution? It's We the People, idiot, not We the Corporations. Just stop and think about that for a minute. Our economy doesn't flow through PRIVATE individuals and businesses anymore, It flows through fortune 500 PUBLIC companies who work in coordination with the state to monopolize profits to consolidate wealth. That, my friends, is Fascism.

Take supply-side economics, for instance. This philosophy says if we give our privately contributed tax dollars to publicly traded corporations then they will provide a lot of cheap products for us to consume. Since everything is so cheap, the people will buy more crap that they do not need or demand, thus keeping workers employed making these products, and hence, wealth trickles down to the working class. Only problem is, the publicly traded companies we gave all our tax dollars to moved those jobs to China.

Do you know why they moved those jobs to China? Because the American people had the gall to ask these corporations to be more environmentally cautious, and provide their workers with health care. Was it too much to ask? We are giving them our tax dollars after all, we should at least get to protect our environment and be provided health care, right? Wrong.

Once public corporations get the power, they get separated from common sense, and the people get the shaft. We're almost to the point of no return. If that's not what you want for America, then you better NOT vote for John McCain.

We need to get back to demand-side economics like we had under Clinton in the 90's. Remember that time? When the people prospered because we could compete for profits. I ran my own communications cabling business back then and was very successful. I employed citizens and produced a superior product at half the cost of the big boys. And it pissed them off. Know how I know it pissed them off? Because they made it a point to tell me it did. I would get calls from them after they somehow found out what I had bid on a project. I would sit and listen to long winded, frothing at the mouth rants that basically boiled down to this..."YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY!!!" My response, "Dude, I'm making a profit, if you can't...then that's your problem."

They got the last laugh, though, because George W. Bush got elected, and demand-side economics went down in flames. A lot of private businesses lost the ability to compete with the big public corporations once supply-side policies reared their ugly heads. If you ever want a chance at owning your own business, like Joe the Plumber is dreaming about, then you better vote for Barrack Obama.

Once all wealth is totally consolidated at the top, there is no turning back without a bloody revolution. The corporations will bitch and moan that if you give the power back to the people, and stop giving our tax dollars to them, then they will just have to shut down and stop producing anything, making us all suffer. I say call their bluff, cause that's what it is, a bluff. You see, in demand-side economics the money starts at the bottom and goes up. If we have money in our pockets and a demand for a product, and the big boys don't want to produce it, someone else will. They know this to be true, and it scares the shit out them. Smaller private businesses will undoubtedly be more nimble and profitable. Just like our founders envisioned from the beginning.

So you've got a choice to make. Vote for McCain and George Bush's Fascist policies, or turn the page on supply-side economics once and for all, and vote for Barrack Obama. If you have been captured by phase one of Operation American Fascism, then hatred, fear and racism rules you and you will have no problem voting against your own internist, and will vote to consolidate wealth at the top. But if you have escaped the hatred and racist ambush, and you've got an ounce of Patriot blood left in your body, then you must reject the Fascists/Tories and vote for Barrack Obama.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Damn, this is one fucked up authoritarian bitch...

Whenever you hear someone say, "Usually we associate with people that have similar ideas to us..." Stay alert, and buck the fuck up, because you've got a Tory on your hands!

She's some piece of work, huh? That Michelle Bachmann. Damn...I mean DAMN! Notice how everyone outside of her "group" is anti-American? This bitch doesn't know the first thing about being American! She's a fucking Tory for Christ's sake!

Hello? McBachmann. This is America, we don't have to belong to any kind of "group" if we don't want to. I swear you Tories are void of any sense of Patriotism (ok, I guess that is stating the obvious as if it were profound).

But come on? For real? You wanna start a "penetrating exposé" to find out who is unAmerican? All you have to do is look in the mirror you Tory ass gutter slime bitch! Are you Tories ever going to learn your lesson? How many times do we Liberal Patriots have to kick your asses before you just stay down and leave us be?

McBachmann, I double...nigh, TRIPLE DOG DARE you to come after this Patriot. I'll wipe that plastic surgery smile right off your face, Tory, with some good old fashion Patriot elbow grease...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I need an objective after action review...

I caught a really big fish(LOL...just roll with me on this one...) over at The Dick Lick.

Ok, settle down you rowdy ass Liberal Patriots...

The bait was one of my MMWB posts. And I was just using some cheap ass 8lb tess line with a rusted hook laced with the truth!!!

But the wingnuts there took to me, inviting me to contribute to the OpSpecialEd page on their lame ass blog. Well, elmo being elmo, I was happy to oblige.

The result, another slam-dunk. In the face of every dirty ass Tory out there. How many times have you asked yourself..."why do these Tories even try?" The answer...they're retarded. Seriously. If you've got a better explanation I'm all ears?

Obviously, as with all confrontations with wingnuts, I was forced to explain myself in the most basic of sand lot recess politics...I was confronted with the dreaded THREE QUESTIONS!!!

I started to get flustered, but then I thought...I know that's some scary shit, but take a deep breath, elmo, there are Liberals here to help. Dig deep ELMO!!! Then I pulled myself together. Ain't no Tory in history that ever stood up to, and got away with, degenerating a Patriot!

So, feeling the line tighten, I set the hook. Did I pull too soon? Or too late? Granted I caught the fish, albeit a malnourished perch...but a fish none the less. Still, there has to be some lessons to be learned here? What say you?

I give you, dear reader, the Coda...

TDL(dirty stinking Tory):

Since you obviously cant engage in a normal discussion without foaming at the mouth, I'll break it down simply to you with a few 'yes or no' questions:

1) Do you deny that liberals seek bigger government? Yes or no....

2) Are you saying that it is not the liberal agenda, but the conservative agenda that seeks large, intrusive soical programs? Yes or no....

3) Are you implying that the people that founded America were pro-abortion and pro gay marriage? Yes or no....
TLA | 10.16.08 - 11:50 am | #

elmo(fucking stud ass Patriot):

There you go again...

I know that authoritarian gene you were born with makes you incapable of deducing variables around facts, and that limits you to answering life's most critical issues with simple questions and answers, but the real world does not work that way (see current Retardican caused financial crises).

But what the hell, I'll entertain you...

1. Liberals believe in one thing and one thing only about government. And that is that it is the peoples. Period. Big or small.

2. I am saying that it is the conservatives' agenda to limit the peoples participation in government through reverse psychology. But in fact...y'all are nothing but dirty ass Tories.

3. It is a fact that our founding fathers were progressive at the time of our founding. Soon after which, some decided to start acting like Tories once they were in charge. But they were smacked down by the Bill of Rights. As before and as it will always be, true Patriots have been battling Tories none stop...
elmo | Homepage | 10.16.08 - 9:38 pm | #

If You are a Republican, You are a Racist

What with guilt by association being what it is today and all...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Debate Thread

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Hey Sarah Palin

Hat tip to elmo's oldest son(chip of the ol' block)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Land of Confusion: Past and Present

I felt kind of surreal when my thirteen year old son told me today that that Genesis song on the radio is a rip off of a Disturbed song (like I did to my mom and Motley Crue's 'Smokin in the Boy's Room'). But That's what happened to me today...



Friday, October 10, 2008

Traitors Never Tell Lies

I wont call John McCain a hero, because he is not. I bet that statement shocks the shit out of most of you. If it did, you are totally ignorant of the inner workings of grunt politics. You see, you only get to be a hero if you get killed in action. If you live, you were just doing your job, plain and simple. As a grunt, you do not get to survive and return as a hero. Period. All the hero's were left on the battle field, and that's just the way it is. Don't believe me? Just ask John McCain if he thinks he is a hero. I'd love to hear that bumbln' stumbln' answer.

That said, I here by question his honor. You heard me right, I don't believe he has an honorable bone left in his body. You wanna know when he lost his honor? Well, the exact moment in time is not known, but for sure, by 1993 he was all but depleted of any honor.

You do not leave a brother in arms behind enemy lines if you can help it...ever. If there is but a sliver of hope of retrieving a POW, it is duty bound that you do everything in your power to do so. Period.

John McCain was the catalyst in stopping the search for the remaining POW's in Vietnam. He was on the United States Senate Select Committee on POW/MIA Affairs that officially ended the further searching for POW's in Vietnam. You know why? Because the people funding his life at the time needed to do business in Vietnam. That was enough for John McCain...

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Bradley Effect: Wingnut Wet Dream

Eat shit and die you Tory ass gutter-slime motherfuckers. Of all the reasons for why I hate you, my favorite, has got to be your blind trust in that enough people will hate minorities just enough for you to keep racial prejudice strong in America...forever. Thanks for playing, but you lose.

As if you ever had a chance at winning. Fools. You were doomed before your Tory ass grand-pappy shat his first shit. A tide rolls motherfucker and it never stops. It just slides back, gathers steam, and smacks your ass again.

So, now your petty, ignorant asses can't hold up to the erosion, and all you've got left is your whining and crying and dieing. Must suck to be you...but it sure is a site watching you fall. LOL! You wont ever find my ass feeling sorry for you. Traitors.

Even if your wet dream comes true, and many vote opposite of their spoken word, the next time around, you'll get smacked harder. And if needed, the next time, even harder again. But there will be an end, Tory...there will be an end to you.

I can see you dreaming, smirking away in your sleep late on November 4th, self assured in your Bradley effect blanket. You feel all snugly and safe in that place. But then, there comes an annoying sound that ruins your dream. It is a ringing of sorts and you don't feel so snugly anymore. Fuck make it stop! Then you wake up November 5th, and realize, that bell is still ringing in your head...and it tolls for you.
eXTReMe Tracker