Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be douche bags...

General Petraeus and the Final God Damned Word on Torture

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Gen. David Petraeus:

Whenever we have, perhaps, taken expedient measures, they have turned around and bitten us in the backside....Abu Ghraib and other situations like that are nonbiodegradables. They don't go away. The enemy continues to beat you with them like a stick in the Central Command area of responsibility. Beyond that, frankly, we have found that the use of the interrogation methods in the Army Field Manual that was given the force of law by Congress, that that works.

He says when was commanding the 101st in Iraq under Bush he still did not torture, you know why? Because he knew torture was proven to be counter productive centuries ago. Still believe torture works? You're a fucking idiot...

The Conservative's Case for Higher Taxes

The conservative movement is akin to a dog chasing its own tail. They just spin and spin with the believe that if they are persistent enough that one day they will catch the prize. Now they have spun so much that spite has trumped reason to a point where even their core values and believes contradict one another. For instance...

Fact #1 - Conservatives believe in small government. In fact, "small" is too big a word...they want a teeny weeny government. One so small they can "drown it in a bathtub."

Fact #2 - Conservatives believe that if you lower taxes that it will actually increase the revenue into the federal government. They believe this works every time it is tried.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Just using their own reasoning, it seems clear that if cutting taxes brings in more revenue into the government, then raising taxes would therefore lower the amount of money flowing into the Fed, thereby shrinking government. So, if you are a filthy rich conservative the clear patriotic thing to do is send all your extra money to the government. That is, if you truly do stand by your principles of small government...

**UPDATED**CPAC Seats Michael Steele at the Back of the Bus

The first guest on this morning's Washington Journal was the American Conservative Union Chairman David Keene. Mr. Keene is running this year's CPAC convention being held this weekend in Washington D.C. A caller asked Mr. Keene about the lack of diversity in the conservative movement, which he ducked and dodged, then was asked by the host Susan Swain..."speaking of diversity, is Michael Steel speaking at the conference?"

A question that Mr. Keene awkwardly answered "no," then went on to shuffle in his seat before interjecting "but he will be speaking at the CPAC ball..."

UPDATE**

Michael Steel did talk at the Ronald Reagan Banquet. But the real story of this video(link below) starts at about 3:15 mark. The fools do our job for us and bring out the best Bush impersonator I have ever seen! He was hilarious!!! The crowed was not all that into it, the house would have been rocking at a Liberal event! He flat out pisses them off at some points. He even breaks into song playing a little blues ditty on the guitar. You MUST watch it! Then jump to the 24:30 mark and listen to Michael Steele get introduced to no fanfare at all(oh, and some soul music)...

The best damn Bush impersonator of all time!

Rush Over the Cliff

The depths of wingnut projection has finally reached its bottom! Everyone knows that you can just listen to papa Rushy and take whatever he is decrying about Liberals as a projection of his and all conservatives' true values; like clockwork this has been true for years. But usually the Limpster is intentionally nuanced, or so specific in a direction intentionally out in left field to provide concelment. However, today Rush Limpbaugh showed us his true colors.

As if you did not already know, Rush is a true and committed fascist. But he went for the granddaddy of all projections today! Today the Limpster reveled that "Obama" was following the outline for dominance that Adolf Hitler laid out in his book Mein Kampf. That's right!!! Oh Rushy-poo is swinging for the fenses now! And he could give a fuck about nuance or half-ass'd bullshit any longer! He'll gives us what we've all been waiting for...THE STRAIGHT UP TRUTH!

Thank God recognizing perfect projection is as easy as watching a drive-thru movie(unless you have a hot date - but Rush would have to pay extra for that). Get this, Rusha-the-hut tried to say today that President Obama's agenda was that of Hitler's in Mein Kampf when Hitler advised to tell "a lie so colossal that no one would believe that somebody could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously." I shit you not. The sorry excuse for dick-cheese actually said that. Then he went on to describe Obama's "Big Lie" as a plot to "destroy the county as we know it." He just came right out and said it, like we all wouldn't know he was projecting.

But it gets better. He then went on to explain that Hitler's Mein Kampf said to pick an enemy. And to blame this enemy for all the worst things life has to offer. Then, as if not even realizing he just blamed Obama for wanting to destroy the country, or the last fifty years of blaming Liberals for every impurity known to man...he points to Obama blaming Bush for our economy's downturn. Takes a special kind of retard to try and pull that one off.

So, in the midst of trying to compare Obama's agenda to Hitler's Mein Kampf, Limpbaugh tried to make Obama America's public enemy #1 by claiming his real goal was to destroy the country and eat your children. I rest my case on this fucker.

Come tomorrow, Rush will be saying he said all that to "tweak" the media and that he was being all satirical and shit...I know this like I know every glorious inch of my body...

But we all know he was projecting like a son-of-a-bitch...over the cliff, in fact...

It's Because He's Black

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

At Least Liberals in Canada still know how to Talk to Tories(In Canada conservatives still go by "Tory")

Saint John Lancaster Liberal MLA Abel LeBlanc has been suspended three days from the legislative assembly for giving the finger to a Tory MLA during a heated exchange on Thursday. (CBC)

Sarah Palin is Retarded

She can't even remember some of her "core" principles(energy, budget tax cuts, lift American spirits) unless they are written on her hand...

Baby-Boomerang

The Baby Boom generation has been called the most egocentric generation in the history of mankind. I can't imagine many disagreeing with that. They have, from their inception, demanded relevance whether it be true and earned or made up out of whole cloth. It's the first wave of the Baby Boom generation(hippies/teabaggers)that the second wave of boomers(punks),the Gen X'ers(punks) and the Gen Y'ers(echo boomers) have the most beef with. Ironically, these first generation boomers who are now trying to pull our county backwards are the same people who freed us from conservatism's grip to begin with.

Today's teabaggers were yesterday's hippies. How odd is it to have that roll off the tongue? But it's true, teabaggers used to have beads in their hair and shit between their toes. And we all owe them a debt of gratitude for it. The culture that they were born into was a dull gray slab of conservatism. They took a world of long dresses, whites shirts/black ties and crew-cuts and turned it on its head. So much of the cultural freedoms we take for granted today were fought for and gained by these first generation boomers/hippies. The only problem is, now they are trying to take all those freedoms back.

So now they've had a change of heart, now that harshly conservative culture they fought so hard to defeat is their call to arms. The unjust wars they used to march against they now create. The personal life choices they once giveth, now they taketh away. And so on and so on till their worldly views are now that of which they fought in their youth. But why? Why is what was good for them so bad for the rest of us now? Because they lost their relevance, that's why.

The country changed because of them and intern those changes became commonplace. People wear their hair and cloths as liberally as they want. Races and cultures mix freely. Peace and love are preferred to constant war. Racism is taboo and sexism is waning. Quite frankly, we do not need the boomers any longer. And that, my friends, pisses them right the fuck off. Their relevance fleeted and they want it back. So now they intend to take us back to where they began.

Sorry charlie, we don't intend to go backwards. You can take your regression and shove it up your ass. I may be wrong about why boomers are boomeranging, but one thing is for sure...the same people who broke us free from the chains of conservatism are now trying to re-incarcerate us.

Sen. Kyl gets Latrine Duty

Senator Kyl (R-AZ) gave a nifty little speech on the Senate floor this morning. Yep, he was chosen to be today's lie dispenser, and it was a doozy! He pulled what I like to call the 'I'm the rubber and you're the glue, bounces off me and sticks on you' manifestation of the wingnut projection phenomena.

This is where conservatives not only project their faults onto the Liberal opposition, but they use the EXACT facts and rhetoric that Liberals used against them to prove conservatives' ineptitude, facts and rhetoric not even old enough to collect dust in Arizona, and claim that the facts and stolen rhetoric are new BUT perpetrated by the damn Liberals!

It has to be the most demeaning form of projection. Poor Sen. Kyl, having to take one for the team, getting laughed at by any citizen with more that two brain cells to rub together, but having to sale a bill of goods to the retarded base(teabaggers).

And his BIG lie, the fact he is trying to bounce off them and stick to us...Sen. Kyl said today on the Senate floor that President Obama had borrowed more money from foreign countries than all the other presidents, COMBINED. Except, or course, President Bush was the one to do that...back in 2005.

Check out the 1:30 mark on of this youtube of the house floor back in 2006...



So get ready for your crazy neighborhood 'bagger to start slinging this lie around like a teabag flopping around on a Mini-Pearl hat...