Wednesday, July 29, 2009

How Stupid is Fox News?

Pretty fucking stupid. They don't even know where Iraq is on a map. We've only been AT WAR over there for six fucking years you damn RETARDS!!! Oh, and Egypt, for your over to the west on the continent of AFRICA!!! Morons. No wonder you dolts call supply side economics "economics 101." Being stupid fucks must be a sport to you imbeciles...

Monday, July 27, 2009

You 'No Public Health Care Option' Retardican Scum can Suck my Dick

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Rep. John Carter. I'm watching you right now on CSPAN complaining because you had to reword your newsletters to refer to the majority as "The Majority Party" instead of "The Democrat Party." And you are soooo distraught because you were not allowed to put that phony health care chart you assholes are trying to peddle in them, too. Boo-fucking-hoo. So you are claiming your freedom of speech is being infringed upon. Just another smoke screen, ain't it Mr. Carter? Damn right it is. You're too afraid if you have no cover and concealment...anything that keeps the people from discussing and debating honestly, will show you and other Retardicans to have hearts as black and cold as a Kentucky coal mine in January. You will rot in Hell you fucking greedy Sons-of-a bitches. Oh great...Ted Poe is next, followed by Steve King.

You know, when you stand and beat your chests like you conservative butt-fucks do and shout about how you "stand for your principals" -- it is counter to said screeching about standing for your principals. You guys have a really bad problem with that. So why don't you just come out and say what you are thinking; what you say with like minded kooks and chuckle -- "fuck the poor bastards and their heath...let them use band-aids!"? Stand by your principals motherfuckers!

Every time we Americans get together to right some wrong you conservative cock-roaches try and block it. Every. Single. Time. Against our Revolution: conservative...CHECK! Against freeing the slaves: conservatives...CHECK! Against African Americans right to vote: conservatives...CHECK! Against woman's right to vote: conservatives...CHECK! Against ending segregation: conservatives...CHECK! And so on and so on throughout the history of this great nation. What the fuck is up with you conservatives? Is there a cold-dark-heart gene or something? Is it a learned trait? What the fuck? Why do you fuckers hate liberty and prosperity for all but your kind?

I'm sure this "telling us what we can say and not say" bullshit meme will spread like wildfire. I mean, the whole birther movement is blowing up in your face so you need something to distract from that, too. So fine, you can show that chart and say "Democrat party" all you want on the floor of the house. But we don't have to spend our hard earned tax dollars to spread your lies. Tough titty said the kitty. I cannot yell "FIRE" in a crowded theater, either. I can't say "fuck" at all on T.V. or radio. So you have to use proper English and cannot spread your lies on our dime. Grow the fuck up you damn losers.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Have Retardican, Will Travel...

Watch in amazement. No shit, AMAZEMENT! G. Gordon Limpy has the answer!

Fake ass bottom dwellers trying to be relevant...again -- (beyond the their ability to think)...

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Justin's First Gig (thanks to a little help from my bro's)

Justin and his friends got to jam at a real bar on a school gotta love Austin!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Caller Kathy Spanks Little Girl Glen Beck's Lilly White Ass

Monday, July 13, 2009

Quarterly Little AG Pics for PHAT AG: Little AG Found the Scissors Addition

Well, she looks like she has mange...but at least she did not put an eye out...

Friday, July 10, 2009

The Retardicans' Great Starch Hope

By: Thers at Firedoglake (BRILLIANT!)

THE PLAIN PEOPLE OF WINGNUTTIA: Our candidate for president in 2012 will be a baked potato.


TPPoW: You heard us! We see the danger facing us in the Obama presidency as so powerful and so imminent that we demand a candidate who wants to devote time and speeches to fighting it in a very public way. That candidate is a baked potato. In fact, this baked potato right over here. ------>

TL: You're nominating a baked potato? What the hell are you talking about?

TPPoW: Ha! We knew that would drive you libtards crazy! Clearly, this potato has earned the eternal enmity of the liberal elite for the affront of who it is: a working-class, pro-life vegetable with decidedly red-state mores. Unlike you out-of-touch coastal elites with your pommes frites, the baked potato is from the real America -- these small towns that we get to visit, these wonderful little pockets of what we call the real America, the hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.

TL: Are you on drugs? Who the hell is going to vote for a potato?

TPPoW: Stupid hippie. You're so deluded -- the potato is the natural leader of what we might call the "Country party" — the countless real Americans who are tired of being treated as clay!

TL: And instead want to be treated like vegetables?

TPPoW: Elitist! Clearly you're just terrified that the old American aphorism about how anyone can grow up to be president might actually be true!

TL. But a potato can't talk. How can it give speeches or interviews? Put it in front of a camera, and people aren't going to be saying any of that "Country party" shit, they'll be saying, "I'm not going to vote for a fucking baked potato."

TPPoW: You fail to understand that in the way this baked potato presents itself in conformance with the stereotype of the red-state simpleton, it is actually being deeply principled. Fool! America’s “Best And Brightest” — the media’s haughty personages, the college towns’ privileged residents, affimative action’s beneficiaries, the “mainstream” politicians who supported billions for bailouts and “stimuli,” the upscale folks who look down on the rest of us and upon themselves as saviors of the planet — these are the people who will make this baked potato into a political force by making it a symbol of everything they are not. They will do this despite the potato's lack of brilliance when it comes to communicating its ideas on the issues. Your use of curse words also proves that you are incapable of rational debate, so neener neener I win.

TL: Whatever. The point is, it's still a freakin' potato. It can't, like, communicate!

TPPoW: Says you! Actually, for all the media’s awe at President Obama’s mastery of social media, it is interesting to note that the baked potato is leading the way in online communications among Republicans. By a lot. It is using Facebook and Twitter to communicate its agenda and message directly to its constituencies. Its strength in this regard is obscured at the moment because that agenda and message is a mystery at present.

TL: That's because potatoes don't have agendas, even ones that fit on Twitter messages, dumbass.

TPPoW: Hah! Ad hominem! Ad potatum! Yet more indecent behavior from folks who are all to quick to play the "have you no decency" card when it suits them. Just goes to show, if you want to see really vicious vegetablism, go read the comments on Daily Kos.

TL: Come again?

TPPoW: Your attitude towards baked potatoes is obviously a deadly serious attempt to realize the vision of the 1960s and to fundamentally transform the United States of America. It is the fusion of Communist dogma, high ideals, gangster tactics, and a stunning amount of self-loathing. It reveals the Democratic Party as what it really is: a criminal organization masquerading as a political party.

TL: Uh, not exactly. I think it just proves that if you run around saying a baked potato is the natural leader of your party and maybe the nation, people are going to make fun of you.

TPPoW: More hatred. Don't you see it? Don't you see that trying to destroy this baked potato is kind of like Ben Kenobi letting Darth Vader strike him down? Even if you succeed -- Ouch. It will hurt to know a vegetable you pride yourself on seeing as a hot side dish loaded with butter, sour cream, chives, and maybe bacon bits so thoroughly out-maneuvered you. You do see it, right?

TL: What I see is that you have it in your head that this baked potato somehow offends liberals, when, like, we just think it's stupid to pretend a vegetable can be president, even if you've pulled that shit off before.

TPPoW: Yeah, right. More likely it bugs you, deep down, that while the baked potato is at ease with its vegetableness, as well as its place in the workplace and at home, liberal potatoes, especially the liberal broads, convey a base insecurity in their feminine skin and crispy, slightly charred jackets.

TL: (Takes long pull of whiskey) Oh for fuck's sake. Starting tomorrow, I'm going on Atkins.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Rise of Right Wing Hate

Monday, July 06, 2009

Do you know what the most terrifying words in the English language a Retardican can hear is?

Here's a hint...

"I am of the people, by the people, and for the people...and I'm here to help."

- Ronald "The Clown" Reagan

Think about it...

Friday, July 03, 2009

Happy 4th

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