Thursday, March 26, 2009

Drum Roll Please...

Out of the ashes of tyranny; forged from the metals liberty and freedom; with the strength of a thousand eagles and old glory waving elegantly in the spring sun...the Retadicans unveiled their budget today. Only thing is, after riding in like a knight in shining armor, they turned out to be two-pump-chumps and left the lass quite unsatisfied...

Instead of rock-hard numbers, Rep. John Boner walked out with 19 tear stained pages of bitching, moaning and crying. I guess that just doesn't do it for the drive-by-media anymore. Are they getting tired of faking it?

You'd better wake up, Retardicans, Lady Liberty can be a real bitch when she ain't satisfied properly. If you don't have the tools, don't try and fake it...that shit just gets you made fun of...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Things you MUST do! And if you don't, then maybe you should not be in the GAME!

Cramer 3:16

For Money so loved the world, that it gave us beloved America, that whosoever believeth in it shall not be poor, but have riches for everlasting life.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Retardican Game Plan: Bring Down Obama's Approval Rating...NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!!!

If you're a knuckle-dragging fat-ass Tory looking for something to do, because lets face it, you don't have carriers except in your minds; Your political hero has a job for you...


So here is your mission. Straight from your dear leader's mouth. Rush wants you to drive Obama's approval ratings down and here's the plan...

1) First, leave your balls behind. You won't need them.

2) Next, think of Liberals as "cruel" and "racists." Because this worked for them after Katrina. Think about it, the Liberals would never have dropped Bush's approval rating so far if they hadn't been able to make America believe all those black people siting on rooftops was "cruel" and "racist." When every hardcore Conservative knows it was not. The truth just escapes lesser Americans.

3) Now the most important part. The work we need from you, the Cheetos stained fat-asses of America, is to use your limited imaginations to portray President Obama as "cruel" and "racist." Do this by any means necessary. Lie, cheat, do NOT argue in good faith, and distort history...this should be easy, it's been in the Retardican playbook for decades. Just follow your instincts.

4) Lastly, do not under any circumstances let reason cloud your thoughts. This is the ultimate enemy of Conservatism as we know it today. It's the only thing that can destroy what Reagan started building for you the faithful. Remember, being a Retardican means always sticking to you guns!

Now go out there and be lackluster wingnuts!!!

Friday, March 06, 2009

I Smell a Tory

What does a Tory smell like, you ask? A Tory smells like stupid. Mixed with a lot of wimpy-ness, and garnished with a tinge of evil...

First of all, you stupid-as-dirt Tory, that Braveheart theme music you have looping shows right off the bat how retarded you are. I mean really? Why couldn't we have gotten some Yankee Doddle Dandy?

You are no more a Patriot than George "W" Bush. You're both just as stupid. Am I hearing you right? You want to gin-up a revolution by claiming that the Liberals are doing what you conservative Tory losers just got caught doing? ROFLMAO!!! I think you should stick to that strategy.

You are not forced to cover your face like a "common criminal" or a "coward" like you say. This is America. You do so because you actually are a coward. Nobody is forcing you hide your face; you would not go to jail for the words you speak. You would be mercifully mocked, but not jailed. I think you are just a big pussy.

And Wow! Think God you woke me up! LOL, your racist ass is seriously going to try and school me on the Constitution? Bitch, please! You know? You would be able to actually read the Constitution if you'd stop wiping your ass with it...shit stains are hard to get out causing you to miss some of the important stuff, like Liberty and Justice for ALL.

Funny, how you think the Constitution says the "Republicans" should be in charge, when the Republican party wasn't formed until 1854, by anti-slavery activists. You did not know that, did you? It is true. The truth, it burns, doesn't it?

Guess what, asshole, no one is trying to take away your 2nd amendment rights. We, as a society, are demanding responsible ownership. So, I'm sorry if you cannot freely collect cases of grenades and RPG rounds like they do in Iraq. They are backed into "a corner", not you, dicklick.

Funny you mention the suspension of Habeas Corpus...

What did you say your rant was about? A "call to arms?" Bring it on you fascist pig! I for one think it is a perfect time for your ilk's last stand.

You are the tyrant, Tory. You squeeze freedom of it's breath. Ask yourself a simple question- do you support gay rights? No? Then what freedom do you speak of? The freedom to discriminate? Yep. But guess what, Bubba? We ain't gonna give you that freedom. Do you know why? Because it does not make sense to consider the act of discrimination as a freedom. They are opposites. Not to mention against the Constitution.

You are right about one thing. The enemy IS on our soil, but that enemy is you. You, the brain dead, retarded, racists dumb-fuck. But if you want a fight, a fight is what you will get.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Mattress Kings

It's called blackmail- What these rich crybabies do to us hard working Patriots. Of course it's treasonous, but worst of all, too many of us hard working Americans still fall for their bullshit. The truth of the matter is that fairness was tossed out the window about thirty years ago in the name of "smaller Government." Which, less we ever forget- is a synonym for "less American people" involved in governing.

No shit, these fuckers are trying to pull off the greatest con job of all time...making the American people believe their government does not belong to them anymore. In fact, some will go to great lengths to proclaim it never has belonged to us.

I(and many more like me) call bullshit.

Get used to it, you Tory-ass wingnuts, as long as a single true Patriot has breath in their lungs you will never win. That is just a historical fact. I don't give a fuck how loud you get. Pussies.

So, we have the rich oligarch aristocrats deciding that "all hell is breaking loss" for us working Americans. Typical. But this ongoing lie about the tax code has got to stop. Nobody pays a set rate on the entire profit they make, unless you're at the bottom. Everyone pays the same in the first 10% they make as everyone else. The same for the next tax bracket, and the next. But when a motherfucker gets into a tax bracket where he/she/it has to pay a high percentage ONLY in the highest particular tax brackets, all of a sudden they claim to have to pay the same high percentage of taxes on EVERY dollar they make! Liars.

They are stuffing their dollars under that proverbial mattress as we speak. Why do you think liquidity is still nonexistent even with the billions we gave the banks? Why are they still not lending? The answer is that they are still waiting for the bottom. The ROCK bottom(where most of us will be). That's why they're bitching so much. Because any true stimulus will at worst cloud the site of "the bottom", and at worst, make it too unpredictable for the oligarch wannabes to capitalize on. The common folk will eat up more of the economy than their lazy asses will be willing to work hard enough to steal.

That, my friends, is how the fascists fuck you, and in turn, how you fuck them. Take what they're selling at your own peril.
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