Friday, June 30, 2006

Band of the Week: diRTyWoRMz

Talkin To My 40 oz

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Pimp Tax

Republican Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa broke his pledge of "no new taxes" today when he introduced a "Pimp Tax" on the Senate floor that The International Pimping Union(IPU) says could destroy the sex industry in America.

A spokesman for the IPU, Pimp Master Fly Skillz, said the tax would discourage young entrepreneurs from becoming pimps and could run many pimps out of business.

Pimp Tickle Mack-Nasty, from Elmo's Hood, promised to send his homeboys down to take Sen. Grassley out. Representatives from Sen. Grassley's office had no comment but were clearly scared shitless.

Story developing...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I Use'd Do Security, I Construct Now Too

From the Associated Press: We goin' 'ta build 'em an airport in Najaf, Iraq.

The World Strategic Initiatives Group is headed by Henry E. Wilkins, 48, who worked for the State Department advising the governments of Afghanistan and Bosnia on police issues, and a former sheriff's investigator in Citrus County, Fla....

...WSI Group was formerly known as World Security Initiatives Group, but Wilkins said he changed the firm's name to reflect its foray into construction work...

See, it's all spelled out as plain as day. OK,, construction, they can do it all just like Wal-Mart!

How much you wanna bet this $300 million project gets blown up by insurgents a few times and turns into a $1.3 billion project? Or, enough security forces will be bought and paid for and it still ends up being a $1.3 billion project. Either way, the war profiteers come out on top.

How much of this money do you think will go to the Iraqis? You guessed it...nada.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Government for the People?

Nope. Our government is out for itself and the corporate donors who fund it. For the 7th year in a row congress gave itself a pay raise. Low wage earners ask for a minimum wage hike, the first in nine years...and are told to bug off. It's called Fascism. Think not? Freedom of the press is next on the hit list.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Band of the Week: Dixie Witch

How do you find WMD in an election year? Well, just ask 'ol Rick Santorum what he does in a situation like this. He'll tell you to look that "fact" right in the eye and say..."FUCK YOU!" "How fast will we find WMD...I Set the Speed! " "Now...lets find 'em fast, Get Busy!" "And, never mind the NUMBERS!"

See Dixie Witch live tonight in Austin at Room 710.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

HNT: Diver Down

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Meet, God

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Dirty South Wins the Cup...Again

See never did I thank when I got grown
That some pee wee sacks had been done took dis town
See life's a bitch then you figure out
Why you really got dropped in the Dirty South...

Friday, June 16, 2006

Band of the week: Poor Dumb Bastards

Oh, Poor Dumb Bastards.

While I was out with My Dad Two Whores & A Crackpipe you decided to win the war in Iraq with an act of Congress! Well, it is easier than getting blown up by 'ol Brown eye in the desert.

H.R. 861 - The My Pussy Hurts Resolution of 2006

We publish this Resolution declaring that the United States will prevail in the Global War on Terror, the struggle to protect freedom from the terrorist adversary...(more)

What a bunch of weak ass bitches! Do you really think some two-bit terrorists can take over our country and that this "Resolution" will stop it from happening? Maybe I should apologize for calling you bitches, but it's Hard To Say I'm Sorry (When I'm Not). Could be the Long Nights Drinkin, but I'm pretty sure you wingnuts need to come out of your Gun Room and get your war on. Why not? Are you too Old Fat & Drunk or are you just too busy playing with your Nazi Love Puppets?

See Poor Dumb Bastards live tonight at Emo's

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Welcome to this special War Council edition of "The View"

How will we continue to finance the War Mrs. Bushy?

"We discussed that today, as to how to continue to rally not only the neighborhood and Iraq's neighbors to the cause of the new democracy, but how to help others who have made a pledge to honor their pledge, their pledge to our allegiance"

"I keep reminding the American people that the steaks are worth it. I like mine medium rare" - Mrs. Bushy

Today's special guest, Willie Nillie...

Monday, June 12, 2006

Sinatra Made 'em do It

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wondring in the night
What were the chances wed be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Band of the Week: Gorch Fock

So, I'm late with "Band of the Week." Gorch Fock yourself!

Took the family to Sea World today. Going to Schlitterbahn tomorrow. I'm a hero. Saw this Monsantra of a woman on the log ride. Her name was Charles Lynch. Some of us humans played water volleyball with the killer whales. Shirts vs. Skins. They won.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

GQ Thursday

HNT: Necrotizing Fasciitis



TULSA, Oklahoma. (AP) -- The cause of death for a University of Tulsa football player who died in April was a rare infection known as flesh-eating bacteria, according to state health officials.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Apparently in Cunt Coulter's new book "Godless" she trashes 9/11 widows. They have something to say to the bitch...

"Contrary to Ms. Coulter’s statements, there was no joy in watching men that we loved burn alive."

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


Watch your back today...the evil ones are all around us.

And now...a message from your President.

Monday, June 05, 2006


Faster than a falling approval rating.
More powerful than a shotgun blast to the face.
Able to leap fledgling quagmires in a single bound.

Look! Up in the church!

It's a dike. It's a fag. It's...SUPER AGENDA!

Friday, June 02, 2006

Band of the Week: Mr. Edison's Rocket Train

Mr. Edison's Rocket Train loves punk, so that means he's really cool. What's the Matter Now? Stop...hey...Ahhh shit, that emo young republican kid is crying again. Apparently his taco got Freezerburn and he still has to pay taxes on it.

See Mr. Edison's Rocket Train in Austin at Beerland tonight.

Bonus Track: GG Allin, Garbage Dump

Thursday, June 01, 2006

HNT: Shhh...Mrs. Elmo is Sleeping

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