Happy New Year My Friends!

Band of the Week: Boxcar Satan

Truly devilish noise from San Antonio, TX. Hop on their Hellhound Express and Shoot Down the Sun. It doesn't matter if your a Slow Learner, you can still be the Devil Times Five. Some say there is a little devil in us all...Ain't That the Truth.

See Boxcar Satan live Wednesday, Jan. 4 at Emo's in Austin. And please remember not to feed the crackheads on the corner.

Today is Elmo's Birthday

Iraqi Jailbreak

The Washington Post reports...

"Six detainees escaped from an Iraqi holding facility Wednesday morning, after a firefight in which at least five guards were killed."

A riot broke out after an inmate grabbed a guards AK-47 during a doctor visit and started shooting.

"As other inmates joined the fray, guards opened fire, and at least 23 prisoners were shot."

Five Iraqi guards were killed. 18 inmates escaped, 12 of which have been caught...six are still on the loose.

Tagged I'm It

Eli tagged me! DAMN YOU!!!! (just kidding, Merry Christmas)

Seven Things To Do Before I Die

Go back to Amsterdam

Kiss my grandchildrens' children

Watch the Dallas Cowboys win another Super Bowl, or five

Watch the Texas Longhorns beat USC in the Rose Bowl

Rid the country of ChickenHawks

Read articles of impeachment against Bush and Cheney

See true piece and prosperity flourish in Africa.

Seven Things I Cannot Do

Dunk a basketball

Run a 4.3 forty (anymore)

Become President

Talk my wife into anal sex

Win a gold medal in the Olympics

Fix the mess in Iraq

Vote Republican

Seven Things That Attract Me To... Blogging

Camaraderie

Foolishness

Debate

Vanity (yes I'm human)

Liberalism

Aggravation

Obsessive Compulsive Disorders

Seven Things I Say Most Often

I love you

Good morning sweaty-pie! (to little Alison Grace)

Justin! Finish your homework.

Logan! Leave your brother alone, he's doing his homework.

Fuck Bush!

GO COWBOYS!

Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee. blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death...Amen.

Seven Books That I Love

The Talisman

The Tommyknockers

The Stand

The Dark Tower Series

Eyes of the Dragon

Misery

Thinner

Seven Movies That I Watch Over And Over Again

Blackhawk Down

The Breakfeat Club

Big Trouble in Little China

Platoon

Pulp Fiction

About Last Night

The Last Kiss Goodnight

Scarface

Animal House

Dazed and Confused...OK that's ten

The ultimate 7 ,whom if morphed, would make the perfect ELMO!

Martin Luther King Jr.

John Bonham

Stevie Ray Vaughan

Thomas Jefferson

Rosa Parks

Albert Einstein

Bob Marley

Merry Christmas: From the Bush Administration...

Yah, we spy on you...what the fuck are you going to do about it? Shut up and do as your told!

But this is America and the constitu...

I said SHUT UP! WE KEEP YOU SAFE SO SHUT UP! MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Elmo Has Been a Sick, Sick Monster

The family has had the funk all weekend, I'm just now recovering. My monster profile is classic...I'm going back to bed now.

Your Monster Profile

Omega Nightmare You Feast On: Coffee You Lurk Around In: The Alamo You Especially Like to Torment: Republicans

What's Your Monster Name?

Calvin!!!

From Shakespeare's Sister

Bush is a Racist vs. War on Christmas

Chimpy, you are a racist. Happy Holidays.

I saw your interview with Brian Williams. You said this when asked about the plight in New Orleans...

President Bush: Somebody I heard — you know, a couple of people said — you know, said, "Bush didn't respond because of race, because he's a racist." That is absolutely wrong. And I reject that. Frankly, that's the kind of thing that — you can call me anything you want — but do not call me a racist! Secondly, this storm hit all up and down. It hit New Orleans. It hit down in Mississippi too. And people should not forget the damage done in Mississippi.

You and I are both from Texas. I grew up in the city, you in remote west Texas. But we both know racism was and is very prevalent here. Having many minority friends, it was easier for me to reject bigotry. But you lived were racism was most popular in our state. It's time for you to get above board and admit your prejudice. I know you believe your not a racist, we all do, but decades of brain washing have hurt us all, even me at times in my life. You prove you haven't purged your racist tendencies in step one of your plan to rebuild New Orleans...

President Bush:Step one — particularly in Mississippi and eventually in New Orleans — is get rid of all the debris. You cannot rebuild with stacks and piles of debris. And so they're in the process of removing thousands of tons of debris.

Boy, aren't you a great planner. Who would of thought of "removing debris?!?" The problem is, almost all the victims in Mississippi looked like you, me, and Trent Lott. In New Orleans they almost all were African American. Why "eventually in New Orleans?" What happened to "equality for all?" Why are you still putting our brothers and sisters on the back of the bus?

Now for that terrorist sympathizer Bill O'Reilly...your a bigot too.

You hate all religions that don't make you money. How dare you bastardize my faith. Jesus taught us that one must come freely to him, and must bring only peace and love. You hate too much. If I want to say Happy Holidays to someone I don't know from Adam, because I want to share a smile with them no matter what their religion or non-religion, it's because that's what Jesus would do...you know, spread peace and love. Stop your blasphemous, fake, "War on Christmas" before you lose your soul. We true Christians love all...see you at Midnight Mass.

SEASONS GREATINGS TO ALL!

Band of the Week: Stage Dive

Stage Dive hails from Houston. They're an eclectic group, with a skate punk guitarist, a gypsy lead singer, a zombie bassist and a drummer that could be Bill Gates' brother.

Anyway, here's their Call To Fly. And for God's sake please Fear The Evil! You can visit Candyland, but don't eat any of that shit...it's Poison.

See Stage Dive live Dec. 18th at Adrenaline Skatepark in Katy, Texas.

President Jimmy Carter Doesn't Lie

He tells cadets at West Point what President Bush doesn't have the conviction to admit.

"America will have a major military presence in Iraq for decades to come."

It's obvious, I know, with the botched reconstruction, insurgent attacks, corruption, a failing strategy, and even the Iraqi oil industry is in crisis. You would think Bush would get that right...wait...his oil companies failed too...never mind.

The Last Rose

We have three rose bushes in front of our doorway. They started off small but have thrived in the years. In the spring, just coming in eyesight of our porch brings a soothing aroma that pacifies the hardest of hearts. The pleasant smell fades as winter comes, it's been two weeks since they've blessed me with a smile on the way to my doorway. March is around the corner though.

This is the last of this years blooms. It will be 30 degrees tonight in Austin. The sun will be out tomorrow to fulfill the final bloom, but Wednesday brings colder temperatures and freezing rain...she shall be the last.

Band of the Week: Skunkweed

Skunkweed is from Houston. They're playing in Austin today at the Sky Lounge; I'm soooo there...if they let me in?!?!

If not, I'll go to the titty bar in tribute! I'll meet Tom Delay at The Yellow Rose, I like it when he yells "send in the bitches!" I always feel dirty afterwards, but I am half Irish and Scottish so that's expected. I most likely will get wasted and share the only "toast" I know...cheers!

South Park Elmo

Marketing War on Purple Heart Boulevard

Rejectionists, Saddamists and Terrorists OH MY!

Bush said yesterday "a time of war is a time of sacrifice." Such an easy thing to say, when you don't have to sacrifice. Tax cuts for the wealthy in a time of war...enough said.

Bush-- "I'm traveling today with a man who's done a fine job as the Secretary of Defense -- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld."

deja vu Brownie, uhh...Rummy...uhh, ROFLMAO!

Bush-- "Last year, the area around Baghdad's Haifa Street was so thick with terrorists that it earned the nickname 'Purple Heart Boulevard.' Then Iraqi forces took responsibility for this dangerous neighborhood -- and attacks are now down."

Attacks down with US forces out...no shit!

Bush-- "When our coalition first arrived, we began the process of creating an Iraqi Army to defend the country from external threats."

Ok, you fucked up.

Bush--"And because Iraqi police are not just facing common criminals, they are getting live-fire training with the AK-47s."

That's smart, being in a war zone and all.

Bush-- "Some critics dismiss this progress and point to the fact that only one Iraqi battalion has achieved complete independence from the coalition"

You hate it when we point to relevant facts.

Bush-- "As a matter of fact, there are some battalions from NATO militaries that would not be able to meet this standard."

But you love throwing out irrelevant facts.

Bush-- "The Iraqis, General Dempsey says, are increasingly in control of their future and their own security _ the Iraqi security forces are regaining control of the country."

He better say that, if he wants to keep his job.

Bush-- "And as the Iraqi security forces stand up, coalition forces can stand down"

Talk about beat'n a dead horse.

Bush-- "We will stay as long as necessary to complete the mission. If our military leaders tell me we need more troops, I will send them."

Ok, we're staying a long time.

Bush-- "We will increasingly move out of Iraqi cities, reduce the number of bases from which we operate, and conduct fewer patrols and convoys."

Now we're leaving...I'm confused.

Bush-- "These decisions about troop levels will be driven by the conditions on the ground in Iraq and the good judgment of our commanders -- not by artificial timetables set by politicians in Washington."

I bet the American people have the final say on that.

Bush-- "Some critics continue to assert that we have no plan in Iraq except to, 'stay the course.' If by 'stay the course,' they mean we will not allow the terrorists to break our will, they are right."

Nice try, terrorists are a small part of the insurgency, you said so yourself.

Bush-- "Victory in Iraq will demand the continued determination and resolve of the American people."

Sorry, we don't like quagmires.

Bush-- "when you're risking your life to accomplish a mission, the last thing you want to hear is that mission being questioned in our nation's capital."

"Dissent is the highest form of Patriotism" ~ Thomas Jefferson

Bush-- "I will settle for nothing less than complete victory."

Didn't you declare victory on a big boat a few years ago?