Time to Lighten up a Bit-Friday

Yeah, the world is going to hell in a hand basket, but we can still laugh, right? Think of this as the magazines by the toilet bowl thread. I give you, dear readers...

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

Late Night from Elmo's iPod: Asylum Street Spankers - "Wake and Bake"

You can't be Austin weird if you don't dig this shit...

What a Thanksgiving Prayer Sounds like in Wingnutville

Revel in Material Reality

*New* New Deal

Along with the *New* New Detractors.

Dick Cheese and Alberto Gonzloco Indicted in Texas

No shit, I just heard it on the radio. Apparently Cheney had a sweetheart deal with a private prison firm here in Texas to put some whup-ass on some terrorists. Gonzo was just being Gonzo, and tried to squash the investigation into Cheney's evil prison. Would it even be worth it to take a look into Cheney's personal basement? Or should we just concede that it is all kinds of fucked up and nuke that damn cesspool?

***Special Edition***Late Night from Elmo's iPod: WASP-"Blind in Texas"

This song was it, folks(I'm really getting tired of the word "folks" aren't you?). I went three or four months before starting my own blog because I could not think of a good Title. You see, some slap-stick lame ass Title just would not do. So I pondered like a turtle in the Mojave desert. I like to think of it as 'Trailer Park Writers Block.' But one day, I went through all my old cassette tapes, and there it was, WASP's The Last Command...(My very first concert was KISS and WASP in Ft. Worth- 1984. Complete with full theatrics-fireworks, fake blood and all that shit;). I love the...Irony?

For those of you who don't speak 'hair band' and can't understand the words

Late Night from Elmo's iPod: Sublime-"Same in the End"

We the People are too Big to Fail

Nice. All the talk we hear about fraudulent super-duper fucking winner take all corporations these days is that they are too big to fail. So we let them live. Must suck to be us. Too bad the entire world is evolved this time. And since we're all global and shit...must suck to be us.

It's going to get worse before it gets better, even a shit-stain like myself can see that. But it is our own fault, do not fool yourself on that. We let the consolidation of wealth stomp out liquidity. We played the fool and let our home grown production perform a Mass Exodus. We let our Constitution be turned in to toilet paper. It's our fault.

Did that piss you off? Good. Now buck up Patriots. This is our country and it's OUR responsibility to keep her strong...and it's OUR fault when she fails.

Don't ever doubt demand side economics again. Supply side economics is a fools game. Greed is a real motherfucking thing and none of us can escape it. I don't care how strong willed you think you are.

The wise among us bite that pride. The weak among us think they're all that and a bag of tricks. So we get retarded consolidation and throw competition out, you know...the window. Must suck to be us...having to fight for the crumbs and all.

But again, it's our fault. Our jobs did not just get up and walk away all by themselves. We were all like "PARTY ON!" and saluted as they were shipped away. And now we have the gal to ask why?

The sickest shit of all is that now we are a "torture" nation. We could give two shits if we spy on ourselves or not. And who the fuck has ever heard about Habeas Corpus? I'm mean really? Life is too short to care.

Well, they sure would like us to stay dormant like that forever, wouldn't they? Must suck to be them. Too bad even the sleepiest of Patriots among us call bullshit every now and again. Did you Tories seriously think you had a chance 200 sum-odd years later? Seriously?

I don't care how fucking large an elephant(Tory) you try to make yourselves...we the people are too big to fail. We know to trip is just to fall--so we will all join hands.

Nostalgia begot Bliss

Late Night from Elmo's iPod: Slaughter-"Burnin' Bridges"

The Sarah Palin edition... Seriously, read the lyrics

Moneeeeeyyyyy, It's a Gas...

Fuck-you-wingnut-too-bad you couldn't get your hands on myyyyyyyy stash!

The Retardicans today resemble more and more a young 8th grade cheer leading squad who made their human pyramid way too high with far too little experience. Yep, it ain't pretty when it crashes to the ground.

OMG!!!! Obama's campaign finances wont be audited!!! Unchecked Money + Power = Corruption!!!!

LOL! I'm sorry that it is easier to bust ONE MOTHERFUCKER funneling BIG-TIME CASH into a campaign, than millions of little ants eating your carcass to the bone with $10 dollars here and $20 there. LOL! But of course, I like anything that gets in their craw.

Well, wingnuts, what are you going to do about it? Slackers. Can you get your anti-brain cell base to pitch in a finsky here and there? Will they forgo that dime bag to kick a little cash your way? Yeah, we both know the answer to that...LOL! Na, they expect the fat cats to pick up the tab for their vote. LOL!

How's that "money equals free speech" working out for ya now? I'm sorry, I can't hear you because I can't stop laughing...

Late Night from Elmo's iPod: Megadeth-"Peace Sells..."

The Great Franchise Wars

From where we sit in history, we all have ringside seats to the start of the conclusion of the wars that have been more deadly than any other fought by Americans to date; and, in most cases, are the reasons past wars had been fought in the first place. The Great Franchise Wars.

So, it's time to place your bets.

Here are a few categories: Big Oil, Fast Food, Retail, and *SuperBanks.

The finalist in Big Oil are...

-Chevron
-ExxonMobil
-ConocoPhillips
-BP
-Shell

The finalist in Fast Food are...

-McDonald's
-Subway
-Burger King
-Wendy's
-Starbucks

The finalist in Retail are...

-Wal-Mart
-Target
-CostCo

The finalist in SuperBanks are...

-Bank of America
-JPMorgan Chase
-Wells Fargo

*What the fuck is up with this...

existing federal banking laws say that no bank can have more than 10 percent of the domestic deposit market — a threshold recently surpassed by all three superbanks.

When asked whether the government would take any action, a Justice Department official was noncommittal.

Noncommittal? What the fuck do we even need a justice department for then? Are they so brass now that they don't even pretend we are a nation of laws? Oh, wait, I get it...laws are only for the peasants.

Late Night from Elmo's iPod : Too Short-"It's Your Life"

When the Media Flies Nelo

They fall all over themselves, like an undisciplined dog without a leash. Are there journalism courses that teach you to be anti-common sense? Because from where I sit it is not an ideological or personal trait, otherwise they all wouldn't be instant knee jerk dumb asses. So it must be taught in journalism school, right?

I'm sure by now you've all heard how gun sales are up because Obama won the Presidency. What a crock o' shit. Just because you find a few wingnuts to say they are scared of Obama; and they decided to add tremendously to their already over stocked arsenal, it is not a true perception of why gun sales are up nation wide. Idiots. I've got four words for you, shitheads...

It's the economy STUPID

That's why I got mine three months ago. I figured that my AR-15 was not quite adequate(even though it feels like a toy to me since I can disassemble and reassemble it in my sleep- it's not ideal for home protection). Anyway, the store was flooded with like minded citizens taking advantage of a bargain. Guess what wingnuts? The "surge" in gun sales is Bush's and your fellow Retardicans' fault. But I bet that makes you proud...then, you say everyone is scared of Obama. And predictably, the media figures they have a "scoop" when they are just too lazy to think.

It's the economy STUPID

The Memoirs of George W Bush

GlitterBell.com

Wingnuts Grow on Trees in Texas

Meet wingnut extraordinaire Cynthia Dunbar. She is on the Texas State Board of Education for another two years, then is term limited out, thank fucking God. She lives in Richmond, TX. Richmond is just a hop, skip and a jump from Sugar Land, TX, were Tom Delay is from. Her day job is teaching anatomy & physiology to high school juniors and seniors(she leaves out the private parts). Yeah, get ready, this is going to be bad.

Among her accomplishments are a undergraduate degree in biology and psychology from the University of Missouri, Kansas City, and graduating with honors from Regent University School of Law (Yep, that Regent University) were she served as the founding editor of Regent's law review. She also brags about being a Boy Scout Den Mother and a school homeroom mom. Just ignore the fact that "Den Mothers" are in the Cub Scouts, not the Boy Scouts.

Anyway, this pathetic waste of carbon boldly called President elect Obama a "terrorist sympathizer" yesterday. When asked to retract her statement, she said this...

"I don't have anything in there that would be retractable," said Dunbar, R-Richmond. "Those are my personal opinions, and I don't think the language is questionable." She continued, "Right now, we're still in America, and we still have freedom of speech," Dunbar said. "And unless that's changed, I'm not aware of it."

It gets scarier, the Texas State Board of Education will begin revising public school social studies curriculum standards after adopting standards for science next year. Maybe home schooling is not such a bad idea after all? You see, she represents district 10, which incorporates the schools my children go to.

Fuck me...

Tomorrow the Real Work Begins...

Just in case you're still thinking about voting Retardican...