Confessions of an Internet Bully

It's not easy for me to do this, but I have to come clean. I feel like it's eating me alive from the inside out! I know I'm polite and courteous in public, but online...OH JUST SAY IT ELMO!

Ok, takes a deep breath I...am a cyber bully.

And I'm one of the worst sort. A virtual pack of rabid pit bulls using my wit and intellect to clamp down on the throats of the weaker. But I don't just pick on any weak minded twit on the internet, I prey on the weakest of them all. You know, chickenhawks, wingnuts, retardicans...DAMMIT! there I go again!

Please, I need help. But they make it so easy! No, no. I'm not going to blame the victim...be strong Elmo! I need to be strong and confess my sins. I need to purge this demon from my soul. I need, to apologize. So, here it goes...

SIKE! FUCK YOUR LITTLE SLIMY WINGNUT CHICKENSHIT PUSSY ASS!

Now for a little "write your own caption" time!

Deep Throat II (The Running of the Bitches)

In theaters this summer.

Today is My Second Son's 7th Birthday

He is a genius and quit the smart ass(gets it honestly), who loves to correct my math. Happy birthday son.

My Oldest Son is 12 Today

He loves basketball. Happy birthday son.

Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death

(A Poem for the American Fascists Posing as Patriots, By Elmo)

I will not give you my freedom because
you are scared...
You cannot use my name to wage
wars undeclared.
You cannot take my values to claim
as your own...
And then run to evil like a dog
to a bone.

I will not give you solace for the
pity you seek...
For unlike me you are very,
very weak.
You will not see the day where your
side has won...
For you must be many, while I am
just one.

You can spread propaganda, get the
masses to agree...
But try as you might, you will
never own me.
For I am the echo of freedom's
call...
Neither silenced by agenda, nor the
rule of law.

You can never defeat me, let me
tell you why...
For I am the land, the sea, and
the sky.
I am the mountain's high and the
valley's low...
I am that which is freedom's
soul.

I am the one who lifts the
vial...
To reveal your lies and damn them
to hell.
I am the answer to why you
are scared...
I am the essence of your worst
nightmare.

For I am freedom...

I am America.

Wingnut Wedding

Stack 'em, pack 'em, and rack 'em Fred!

Cool!!!!! Martin Scorsese can direct and Bruce Willis can be Vice Prez...wait, he's serious? Nooooooooooooo!

HNT: White Chicks Flashing Gang Signs

Watch it!

Also, Blogger is throwing a SXSW party in Austin Sunday(6-9pm) at Club De Ville, 900 Red River St. Drinks are on Blogger!!!

Slapping the Bitch that is Conservatism

Poking the Bear, Rush? More like slapping the bitch, dickhead.

WATCH OUT EVERYONE! CONSERVATIVES ARE GETTING ANGRY...AND YOU WONT LIKE THEM WHEN THEY'RE ANGRY!!!

Well, I've got three words for you Rush...

BRING. IT. ON.

I Think Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple Could Give My Dick a Run for It's Money

I say "tha ho does protest too much"

Building 18

Welcome to our fortress hell
Take some time to show you around
Impossible to touch these walls
For you see the mold is much too strong
Nurse Ratchets come to rule their world
Instruments to break the heroes...

Possibly I've seen to much
Building 18 I know too much

Military life forms inventory
Suspended state of xenophobic
Selective amnesia's the story
Believed foretold but who'd suspect
Military intelligence
Two words combined that can't make sense...

Possibly I've seen to much
Building 18 I know too much

HNT: Anna's Baby's Real Daddy