Conservatism is a Rash

A rather nasty, persistent sort of rash, at that. One that mocks you and screams "I'm here motherfucker - LIKE IT OR NOT!"

Why? Because it can. And we as true patriotic Americans have no other choice but to accept that. But still, we can study it, and recognize its inconsistencies.

Conservatives seek stupid. They soak stupid up like a hot pancake soaks up butter. They have no other choice. There simply is nothing else sparking around in a conservative's sluggish little cobweb trap they call a scull. Except for maybe a funyun...or a cheese-ball. Still, that ain't sayin' much...

So they do the next best thing, they copy what fact loving people observe about them and project it right the fuck back around on the fact loving people who observed their bullshit in the first place. Think scrambled shit and eggs. Now do you get it?

So what do you do? I can tell you from experience that punching them in the face doesn't work. That just makes them hire some retarded muscle man to try and kick your ass. While fun, it does nothing in the way of adhesive politicking. Quite the opposite, actually...

So how DO you fight a rash?

Apparently, with gooey fucking creams and slimy fucking pastes. Yuk. I'd rather punch a motherfucker in the face.

But OK, if conservatism has to be a rash...I'll fight it like a rash...