Healthy Habits and Shitty Writers ;)
By now you've all heard that the first lady and I have a thing going on promoting parents to be good examples for their kids. And I'm all for that. But who the fuck wrote the script? I'm under contract so I had to perform, but I was thinking the entire time that Rush Limpbaugh had infiltrated the once impermeable Sesame Street writing staff to pad his radio material! Until I got a call from Barack...
First, he told me he would squash me like a bug if I ever looked at his wife's ass like that again. But I exclaimed, "how can a warm blooded monster NOT get excited at something as beautiful as that!" He conceded, but made me promise to never do it again...I agreed;)
The Precedent went on to explain that they were not telling me the writer's name because they knew I would kick his ass, and that the dude was just following orders anyway. At which point, my jaw dropped.
"WHAT THE FUCK MR. PRESIDENT!!!" I vomited. But Barack calmed me down with five simple words.
"Sun Tzu, think about it..."
Sweet potato pie and shut my mouth!