I Need a Cigarette

Mrs. Elmo - "Elmo, will you please mow the back yard today?"

Elmo - "The Rangers vs. Tigers game is on baby I'll do it tomorrow, promise."

Mrs. Elmo - "But it may rain tomorrow!"

Elmo - "Then I'll do the next day."

Mrs. Elmo - "What do I have to do to get you to do it today?"

Elmo - "Shave your beaver and fuck the shit out of me tonight."

Mrs. Elmo - "Done, now get the damn lawn mowed!"

And so, we had the hottest sex I've ever had in my life! For 14 years I thought I was getting her best, but HOT-DAMN she was holding out on me! I'd like to nominate the person who invented that hot sex oil for a Nobel Peace Price (I really dig the apricot flavor).

Mrs. Elmo had one of those rapid fire multiple orgasms, just when one finished...BAM, another would start. I did get a little freaked out when her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out, but she regained consciousness pretty quickly. "Elmo, something is wrong, I can't feel my legs!"

I wont go into detail, but it involved leather straps and a Mexican midget named Julio...