Thursday, July 27, 2006

HNT : Anatomy of a ChickenHawk, By Kyle Seaton

So...the sun is setting, the truth is at hand, and I am still who I am with nothing to hide. Typical Liberal.

It would be fun to say "Typical Conservative" about Geoffrey in my next sentence, but that would be lying. I have friends and family who are conservative that would never let their agenda out weigh their morals. The only problem is that they seem to be out numbered. (Oh shit, does that make them typical...never mind.)

My little scrap with Geoffrey is a perfect example. I dared him to call me out and he did. He calls it making MoonBats dance, I call it ChickenHawk hunting. Fine. Lets start from there...

Making MoonBats Dance, By Geoffrey Allen...

Learn a lot about combat in the Army, study well, they will be checking. Suck down a lot of mountain dew and cheetos for fuel, find a MoonBat, and start lying. Show off your knowledge and dare them to prove they ever served, constantly, or else they will successfully visualize to the blogosphere the fact that you've never served. Don't stop, this is very important...they will be watching. When they prove who they are immediately set up a super duper extra impregnable proxy to stop them from commenting on your blog. This will drive them mad! They will try desperately to comment leaving you the opportunity to delete and leave whatever comments you'd like to catapult your agenda...see how that works? Now, grab your pussies and start blogging!

ChickenHawk Hunting, by Kyle Seaton (aka. elmo)

Start slow. This is very important. Give a few comments on the ChickenHawk's blog, the snootier the better, but make them short and sweet, their attention spans are short. Then flaunt your service. They will childishly ask "When did you serve?" This is the key moment in the hunt. You know who you are and you know they are ChickenHawks, make it count. My best advice is to make fun of their mamma, works every time. The ChickenHawk will relentlessly demand proof of your accomplishments; egg him on timidly, then slowly disperse the evidence. He will feverishly try to call you out as a fraud, digging his own grave. After you prove your for real, the fun begins. This is when the ChickenHawk will run, blocking your comments while claiming he has nothing to do with it. But you have a head start. You "fire for effect" on his blogroll, giving his "so called friends" a peek at his fraud. This will send the ChickenHawk cowering into a corner, left only to squawk at how bad ass he is in his corner. He won't come far from his corner and will never show his face on your blog again. BBQ, garnish and serve.

Is Geoffrey's kind of leadership what the Republican Party and most Conservatives want? I doubt it. It's just ChickenHawks like Karl Rove, Tom Delay and the Geoffrey's of the World that push their propaganda so hard most working Americans can't keep up.

The ChickenHawks always come to run, and the Liberals always have to chose one of two things...save their ass's or let the country fall into ruin...typical.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Jack Rabbit said...

You bust one idiot and you think you have it all figured out?

Typical liberal alright.

Thu Jul 27, 12:27:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Nölff said...

Elmo: Dude, you like totally PWNT n' shit. OMGWTFBBQ

Thu Jul 27, 12:59:00 PM CDT  
Blogger John Q. Public esq. said...

my God, and these ppl. won and election?

keep up the good work.

Thu Jul 27, 02:00:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Elmo said...

OMG Ngaaaah KO PMSL M8 r0x0rz!

Thu Jul 27, 02:19:00 PM CDT  
Anonymous Jack Rabbit said...

You guys have been doing this shit way to long.

Thu Jul 27, 03:51:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Elmo said...

Abraham Lincoln was a Liberal, so was George Washington. Oh yeah, Jesus was too...

Thu Jul 27, 10:43:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Butchieboy said...

What? They were all from Liberia?

Fri Jul 28, 01:52:00 AM CDT  
Blogger John Q. Public esq. said...

No that would make them Libertarian.

Fri Jul 28, 07:30:00 AM CDT  
Blogger Butchieboy said...

Libetarians only don't eat red meat, but fish & dairy is ok?

Fri Jul 28, 01:13:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Elmo said...

Dammit, butchie I owe you an apology. That was smart and funny!!! I didn't think you had it in you. snark

Fri Jul 28, 08:41:00 PM CDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geoffrey claims he dooes not change posts - I have a screenshot proving that he does.

Sat Jul 29, 03:51:00 PM CDT  
Blogger phinky said...

So is your chickenhawk a yellow bird? On a window sill?

Sun Jul 30, 08:14:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Elmo said...

Yep, well...he's yellow alright.

Mon Jul 31, 09:20:00 AM CDT  

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