Psycho Wingnut Glen Beck Blames Tyranny on "Democratic Elections"

This is too fucking rich! Glen Beck actually tries to cast democratic elections in a bad light...but not just any bad light...the God awful glare of tyranny! Is Beck saying that democracy has no place in our republic? Oh yes, my friends, that's exactly what this crazy motherfucker is saying...

Gathering of the Ditto Heads

I listen to Rush Limpbaugh a lot, and I think I heard every persistent, distorted platitude he spits out on a regular basis in this video. Of course the video gives the credit to Faux News; but have no doubt, all the wingnuts take their marching orders from the Limpstr'...

Note to Self: Never Piss Off a Popular Comedian with a Huge Audience...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bernie Goldberg Fires Back
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Mutiny Aboard the S.S. Teabagger

Teabagger's Anthem

I've been thinking like I fuck on this question...long and hard. The Teabaggers need an anthem. A strong song that encapsulates their ignorant stubbornness to a, well...Tea. But what should it be? It would have to be a song with glaring specifics and eye rolling inner "YES"'s.

Well my friends, your little fury buddy from the 80's hair-band generation has found the perfect Teabagger anthem! Feel free to come up with a good song from your own generation, but my find was just too rich to pass up. Starting with the name of the band...

...Cinderella. Just that single word describes what the Teabaggers think of themselves. Am I right? They are waiting on a fairy godmother to turn their pumpkins into chariots and their rodents into chauffeurs; they stumble around the capital grounds on one glass slipper; and oh yeah, it's midnight bitches...your time is up!

The song Cinderella must have written with future Teabaggers in mind...Bad Seamstress Blues, Fallin´ Apart At The Seams. With lines like "my hearts like a wheel and my heads just a stone..." and the southern draw of the song, DAMN!!! So give it a gander and tell me what you think, then come up with your own Teabagger anthem and share the love!

Bad Seamstress Blues, Fallin´ Apart At The Seams - CINDERELLA

All the Silliest Little Bitches Come from Texas

Yeah, everything is bigger here in Texas, even the silliness in our little bitches. Click on the link, Sen. John Cornyn wants "real" stories from "real" Texans concerning the new health care reforms...then solicits stories only from small business owners. Classy motherfucker, that John Cornyn, huh?

He wants you "real Texans"; you know, the small business owners(but only the wingnut ones, please)to email your stories here: realstories@cornyn.senate.gov.

I was all like, "fuck it" and sent him my "all too fucking real Texan" story...

Elmo's email to Sen. Cornyn, entitled - "I've got a story for ya!"

But first, let me express my utter disgust with you. Senator Cornyn, you are a jackass. You ask for "real" stories from "real" Texans...then solicit only small business owners? That's the kind of crap that makes me call you names like, "jackass."

We found out our son has a bicuspid heart valve during high school football this year. We had to get tests to double check, and guess what? That's right, preexisting condition! The new health care reform saved our family from not getting denied what we already paid for. Novel concept, I know, but some of us here in Texas still believe in getting what we paid for.

But you keep on codling to businesses selling lies and sugarplums, Mr. Cornyn. The "real" Texans out here in the field doing the grunt work will remember your shallowness...

I'd hope he could get my point, but friends I'm a realist. He won't have a fucking clue, so why bother? To "illustrate" my point, if you will, check out the three pictures for the small business...I'm sorry..."real Texans" to choose from to visualize the pain health care reform will cause them...














I can imagine vividly the jackasses sending stories about how they will "suffer under the weight of socialism!" Yep, no doubt there are some business owners who resent saving money and having healthier employees because of Obamacare. This is Texas, after all, stupid business owners grow on trees here...really BIG trees!

Like I said, all the silliest little bitches come from Texas...

Protestation without Representation (A Tale of Two Teabaggers)

(This is a recycled post, but what the hell...It's TAX day!!!)

Scene #1...

The noble slept not a wink, yet nothing did stir. Just relevance fleeting, ah, you see, this is their bur. No troubles anew, no evil to resist- except the ones in their heads they pretend don't exist. For spring brings fresh life and the nobles do see, those with little or none are becoming more free. Even though all that will be lost is noblemen pride, their hate for the peasant cannot be denied. So they lie in sweet vengeance, their eyes wide awake, in search of a vessel to harness that hate...

Scene #2...

The peasant slept like a baby, having no other choice. There was someone else he trusted to be his voice. He hoped and he prayed, as he always did, and cussed like a sailor when a nobleman fibbed. But there was no other he knew how to serve, what his grand-pappy taught him was not to observe. So ignorance became his only bliss, in turn, his ass getting fucked he could not dismiss. Still, the noble's call he could not deny, even with a thousand needles in his eye...

Scene #3...

So the peasants shall gather on April 15th, at the behest of the nobles who can no longer sleep. The well rested peasants with ironic dumb luck, will buy bags of tea with their new Obama tax cuts. "Sixty five dollars!" said one teabagger with glee, "will buy a lot of motherfucking tea!" So he pays the nobles who are nothing but thrilled, having got paid for the tea they shall spill. Money for nothing the nobles do say, is what you get when the ignorant are prey...

Scene #4...

Alas, the time is near. Where push comes to shove and truths become clearer. What was once a very safe place to hide, shines a spotlight no human can deny. How far will the peasants go to protect their masters? Only time will tell, their ranks house a lot of bastards. If we judge from their words and their deeds, logic tells us they will go to great lengths. So what? Shall it matter? In the great scheme of things? We'll find out tomorrow...today is the 14th...

Suddenly! Like a Quick Drawn Knife...Everyone's Eyes were Peeled to the Queen Teabagger's Twitter Account. Watching...and Waiting...

Bitchslapping Wingnuts 101 (The Beginner's Beginner's Course)

Ever wonder how I get so close to wingnuts so as to play them like a Fiddle? Here's an illustration, via this newfangled youtube gadget(please pay attention to the end -- where I fart in that damn Tory-schnauzer's face...)

In Texas, Oil is not our Number-One Export...

Lovely video, I must say. But it did cause me to get punk'd by some sassy extra-virgin cheerleaders who's video was at the top of the sidebar...

I Agree with George Will

Privatizing Social Security is a good election strategy. Think about it. They have their base crying for less government with a motivation seen maybe only every other decade? To let an opportunity like this slip through their fingers would be not only irresponsible, but stupid. Hell, we just proved that by passing health care reform. If we did not claw, fight and scratch our way to the top of the mountain health care reform would not have resurfaced as a legitimate passable issue for a decade or more. The only prudent thing for the Republicans to do would be to run on repealing Social Security.

Yes, it would be a good strategy...if Retardicans had any hair on their asses!!! BUT THEY DON'T!!! Look what we just did? We had to have enough hair on our asses to weave and Indian blanket to PASS HEALTH CARE REFORM!!! And we still have some left over!!! What do the Retardicans got? Hairless asses and sweet-pee balls, that's what! We saw the opportunity of a lifetime and took it. They see the opportunity of a lifetime and suck their thumbs from a featle position in the corners of their basements(after screaming and yelling a lot, of course).

But I don't know, maybe this time will be different? Is there some hair on some of their asses the microscope did not pic up? I doubt it. But we'll see...

Blog Against Theocracy - The Movie

When Reagan was a Liberal(He sounded a lot smarter)

Wingnuts and April Fools' Jokes Just don't Mix Well